A spring day
1.
It was a lovely spring day. The sun was up in the sky and there was no trace of clouds. Life seemed quite bearable. I was feeling almost good. A sort of peace but not really complete peace… The kind of peace you are scared that you might soon lose.
I was wearing a green skirt to match the spring colours and vibes. It was a bit too short though and as it was windy I was struggling to keep it in the proper position. This also interfered with my inner peace.
The trees smelled great and I remembered that I wanted to buy a perfume with flowery notes. But not today, I don’t think I have time today, I said to myself. Today I have classes.
2.
I was thinking about all the things that I had to do and all the things that I wanted to do and that I didn’t have time for all of them. I suddenly felt I couldn’t breathe. I stopped to rest. I wish there were a place where I could sit around here, I thought. I leaned against a tree. Breathe in, breathe out, I tried to encourage myself…But without much luck. It’s ok, it’s ok, I don’t have to do everything, I’ll only do what I can, right? Of course, it’s all gonna be ok. I’m gonna rest for just a minute. I’ll close my eyes for a few seconds…or just a split second and I’m gonna think about something peaceful…Like…the sea…waves in the sea…I suddenly have the vision of myself drowning in the sea…Ok, no, not that…maybe try something else…A forest…birds singing in the trees, a few bunnies…Wolves chasing them and one of them….No…I’d better stop…no more peaceful visions, that’s enough for today.
Meanwhile, gray clouds have covered the sky and something really strange is happening…
3
I can see something really strange in the distance. I am not sure what that is but it looks like a really big white fox. It’s coming towards me, advancing really quickly.
Its movements are graceful and firm. It doesn’t look like it’s lost, on the contrary, it seems to know where it must go.
I haven’t got much time to react, the fox or…whatever this might be is already next to me.
It stops and waves one of the paws. Then, looking directly into my eyes makes a sign as if I should follow it. I am afraid to move so I just stare at the fox.
It has started snowing and this doesn’t seem too natural either. Just a few minutes earlier it was a lovely, warm, spring day. Now it’s freezing and it looks like we’re in the middle of a very cold winter.
I’m already frozen, my skirt full of icicles hanging like Christmas decorations on a Christmas tree…
4
Eventually I have no other alternative than to start following the fox. I’m all alone, suddenly there are no more people in the street. The city looks deserted. It’s just me and this big, strange fox. I’m scared and I’m very cold. And we’re walking at a fast pace towards…somewhere…
We’ve been walking for around 20 minutes when I see in front of me a green door. It’s a huge wooden door, just like the big castle doors. In the upper side it has many sculpted decorations, all natural elements. A tree with really long branches stretches from the right to the left side of the door. Its leaves are colored in yellow and green and if you look closely you can also see very small pink and white flowers. There’s something about this door that makes me want to keep looking at it. I do not want to touch it, open it or find out what’s behind it but I cannot take my eyes of it. I have time or so it seems as the fox isn’t making any move now.
It’s no longer cold, although it’s still snowing and the wind is blowing and screaming like an enraged dragon spitting ice instead of fire. Maybe this door emanates heat, just like a radiator, that’s all I can think of.
I don’t know how much we look at the door but at some point the door seems to slowly open….
5
A young girl greets us when the door is fully open. She has long blonde hair and big blue eyes. She’s got little white flowers in her hair and she’s wearing very natural make up. Her long lace dress is adorned with white flowers and when she moves, I can feel a faint blooming trees fragrance. The only jewelry she’s wearing is a pair of small green earrings.
“I’m Lilly” she says. Welcome!
Welcome where, I’m thinking, but I don’t have the courage to speak yet.
“Follow me”, it’s not very far, I know you may be tired.
She’s moving slowly as if she has all the time in the world and following her, I feel like I’m taking a walk in a garden full of apple trees. A soft breeze caresses my face and the sun warms my skin.
I don’t know what time it is, I don’t know how much time has passed since the strange things started happening but I’m feeling really tired. If I could lie down now, I’d surely fall asleep in a second.
We’re now in front of a river and young Lilly stops. She takes off her small shoes and touches the water with her feet. The river doesn’t seem to be very deep but it’s truly incredible what I see jumping out of its waters….
6
Another white unnaturally big fox…Great, this day is all about strange foxes.
Jumping out of the river, the fox stretches, shakes off the water and waves its tale. Suddenly it starts to snow. The warm breeze that was caressing my face just a few moments ago turns into a cold wind that’s freezing my skin and all the body parts under it.
I think I already hate these white foxes. Whenever they appear, it’s getting cold and ugly… The river freezes in a few minutes and I still wonder how come I’m still feeling my legs. By some sort of miracle I can still move them. I notice there’s a crate on the river bank. Lilly opens it and takes a pair of white skates out of it. She takes a pair of skates for herself too and while we put them on the two foxes leave. I have no idea where they’re going of course but I’m happy when they disappear from my sight.
“We shall skate on this river”, Lilly says.
Why isn’t she asking me if I can skate? To be honest, I’m not a very good skater and when I put my feet on the ice, I completely lose balance and fall.
“It’s ok”, Lilly says while she helps me to get up. I’ll help you.
“Listen, Lilly…” I speak for the first time… “What’s happening here?” “What am I doing here?”
Lilly prepares to open her mouth but suddenly her attention is distracted by a loud noise…
7
It’s a group of men. They are still so far that we can barely see them but they speak so loud and they make so much noise that we can almost hear what they say.
“We need to hide” Lilly says.
“Why?”
“They’re knights from the Kingdom of North.”
“Right….” I say.
“They won’t treat us nicely…”
I look at them. They seem just a group of young men who went out to have fun. They truly look harmless.
Lilly pushes me towards the riverbank and then forces me to run.
“We need to get to those old trees” she whispers. “Please hurry up”
We’re still wearing the skates. How the hell am I supposed to hurry up?
“You know what, I’m just gonna wait here. I’m sure they’re not that bad. They look…cheerful”
I generally get scared very easily but right now I’m feeling numb. At this point I don’t care about anything. This day has drained me of energy and of will. I honestly don’t care what’s going to happen. So I sit down on the ground ignoring Lilly’s insistent whispers.
I’m trying to concentrate on the river. It’s so peaceful, flowing continuously, carelessly, not allowing anything to interrupt it. Listening to its murmur is like listening to a lullaby and I soon find myself unable to keep my eyes open. I could swear that I hear the river talking to me, telling me a story…but maybe I’m just in a dream…
8
“It’s almost time” the river says. “Fall asleep”
And I really do want to fall asleep. Because honestly…what else do I have to do? What else should I do? Are any of the things I do in this life important. Does anything matter? It doesn’t seem to. So, I just want to fall asleep here…let go and forget…sleep for a few hours…or a few years…
“No, don’t, don’t fall asleep” says this annoying Lilly.
Jesus, woman, why can’t you just leave me alone…
But she is indeed one of those “gentle” souls who’ll do you good against your own will. She is pushing me and pulling me and screaming at me and my eyes keep opening up…and then closing again and I keep waking up and falling asleep… And I’m telling you, that’s not at all a nice experience. It’s like free falling into a deep precipice, then stopping abruptly and then falling again and so on and on until you feel like screaming and begging: stop!
In the end the only option I have is to force myself out of this. It’s very hard as I can still hear the river’s hypnotizing voice trying to lure me back into the falling state.
But Lilly drags me behind the trees where she says we’ll be safe.
Once we get here it’s like we enter another world. The smell of wet leaves and grass is refreshing. A few birds sing on a branch just above my head and 2 squirrels are looking at us from another old tree. It’s not cold but it’s not very warm either. It’s quite dark, only a few shy sunrays are brave enough to try and make their way through the deep forest. Because yes, what seemed like just a little gathering of old trees is in fact a very deep forest.
I’m not sleepy anymore but I am still tired and I could use some rest. Only that…annoying Lilly says we must keep going. We, have a long way to go, that’s what she says. If only I knew where we are heading…
9
I have a sudden headache. I think it must be the low pressure in this forest or something…. We have been walking for some time (only God knows how much because I have no idea what time it is or what time it was when we started walking). I wish I had my phone with me. I wonder…exactly, I wonder where my phone is. I have no idea what happened to it. My purse….in fact my purse is missing too…
I’m almost sure this is a dream…What else can it be? But all seems so real…I mean the grass, the leaves, the smell of the forest, the noises, the way I feel the ground under my feet, all this seems real. Not the things happening…no, that seems completely unrealistic.
I’m thirsty too. I’d like to drink an orange juice. Water would be good too. Or wine…No, not wine, not now…
“I need to stop for just a few seconds, Lilly” I’m saying.
“No” she says “we need to keep going”.
This woman drives me crazy…
“We’re almost there.” she says, “come on, just a few more minutes”
“There where, girl?” I ask desperately.
But just like before, I get no answer.
I am resigned. I walk without thinking, just dragging my reluctant, heavy legs slowly. I almost feel like walking asleep.
At some point, I feel as if something’s pulling at my skirt. I look down to see what happened and I almost scream. I am in shock. There’s a little kid standing next to me. She must be around three-four years old. She looks at me with big blue eyes and keeps pulling at my skirt.
Crap…I don’t like kids. Honestly, I don’t…What is this kid doing here, in the woods…
“Lilly”, I scream.
Lilly turns to look at me and sees the child. She smiles and the kid starts running to her…
Is this her kid? I wonder…But she seems so young…
10.
Lilly takes the kid in her arms, and continues to walk silently.
“Is this your daughter?” I ask her.
“No” she answers, then she waves her hand. The little girl has a large smile on her face. I turn my head to the left to see what she is looking at and I see a huge gate.
It’s a yellow, plain pattern, simple gate. Right in the middle there’s a window around which a few birds are chirping.
Lilly knocks on the door and waits.
A fair-haired young man wearing a blue coat and brown pants and boots opens it. I remember that I have a pair of boots the same colour. He smiles at Lilly and says something in a language I don’t understand. Lilly smiles back and gives him the little girl. Thank god, I think…kids make me feel jumpy.
Before leaving , the young man looks at me. A long look, like trying to tell me something. I notice that his eyes are a combination of green and blue…But I have no idea what his look means…probably nothing. I have this bad habit of trying to see a meaning in everything…when in fact, reality showed me on multiple times that most of what happens is random and trying to find a meaning ends up in disappointment and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
11.
I look at the sky. It got dark. So many gray clouds all of a sudden…What time of the day is it, I wonder…
“Let’s go” Lilly says.
Well of course, why not, let’s go. I just love walking and walking and going to…nowhere…
It’s starting to rain..Big cold raindrops hit my skin mercilessly. It’s a real storm and we are in the middle of it.
It’s not a normal storm though…but then what’s normal here?
There’s so much water pouring down that I am soon inside a lake. I am swimming and yelling at Lilly with so many questions on my mind…
But she ignores me. She is swimming so quickly that I can’t follow her anymore. Small yellow and orange fish gather around me. That’s not piranha, I truly hope…
I guess they’re not or they’re not hungry because none of them bite me. They do seem to prompt me though towards something. They are actually pushing me which is not a pleasant sensation.
Now that I can’t see Lilly anymore I feel quite panicked. I had got used to her. That is another bad habit of mine, I’m afraid…getting used to people…getting attached to them…You see, in the end you’ll find yourself in the middle of a stormy lake, inside a strange story hoping you’ll be helped, saved, hold by those you got attached to…But you’re all alone…you have to face the truth…you are alone…It’s up to you to get yourself out…if you can…And if you cannot…well, then…no worries, you’ll just drown.